This is the end ;'(

It is all ending too soon.......

 My experience in this class was nourishing. It was a much needed wake up call. I thank you, Professor Wesley, so much more than you can imagine. During these five weeks, you've made me happy, scared, irritated, delighted, grateful, etc. I have opened my eyes to things they were closed to before. My perspective upon issues has changed. I am going to make better decisions. I am going to manage my time better. I am going to turn in ALL my assignments in ON TIME. You are the reason behind all of this. I like how you are so well put together if that makes sense. You are calm, cool, collected, wise, but can set somebody straight when you have to. You are one of the teachers where I would come and visit just to have a conversation. When 2017 comes around and it's time for me to graduate, you are one of the teachers I'd bring a gift to because you made a difference in my life. You helped me get to where I am. I know I don't talk much in class or ever go to your office; that's because I'm scared of you to be honest. I loved my class! My classmates are a little extra sometimes but that's just the way they are. I will never forget this pre-college experience with these diverse people. I will miss everyone!!

Research session 7/22

The session in the library was dreadful. If I didn't feel so weak and had a headache, I would have had enough information to write 9 pages. Instead, I barely have enough for 3 pages. I did well picking out the books for my topic. I don't see the point of writing down information from a book when I can directly type it onto the computer. That's why I checked out the books in the first place. I feel so weak; discombogulated; stressed out; I am ready to finish this essay. Usually I can work through my sickness but this is real. It's going to be okay because I am going to complete it to the fullest potential unlike my conpare/contrast essay. I have to pass this class with flying colors! I didn't get this far just to give up. Somebody is going to help me tonight! I don't like asking people for help sometimes because I don't want to be a burden. This last essay is going to be an A. Mark my words. I'm not giving up too easy! 

Argumental Essay

This essay is going to be crucial!I think it is going to be fun finding information regarding absent fathers. Absent fathers are common in this generation and that is sad. It is ridiculous how a "man" doesn't do what a real man should do. If you are man the you make manly decisions. You learn to put your children before yourself. 

The obesity essay we read in class had several points that intrigued me to learn more about what that author had to say. I didn't know that Lard was healthy. I was taught and told that using lard to cook meals was artery clogging. Evidently not because from the research he had done, evidence showed lard contained healthy ingredients. If I had enough money, I would make a restaurant where fruits and vegetables were as cheap as hamburgers and fries. No one wouldn't mind eating healthy because it would be affordable. When I go to Foodlion, a bag of apples cost about $5 and they aren't even big! Camaria did explain to me that produce is more expensive than meat, cheese, etc. I just think it is crazy that a salad costs $6.20 and a large big mac meal costs $4.75. We are so backwards.

Violence, Kids, and a Headache

 I believe some kids are effected by violence. If your child begins to show signs that they are effected by it, it's your job to step in and handle it. I used to play GTA (Grand Theft Auto), 007 (James Bond), and other violent games with my brothers when I was around 8 or 9. I am almost 18 now and those games have not changed me. As a matter of fact, I am far from violent. My attitude has not changed since then. I am the nicest person you can meet. My friends here and at home tell me I need to be meaner but I don't see the point. It all depends on the kid whether it makes a change or not. Take for example the Columbine High School shooting massacre. Dylan Klebod and Eric Harris were students who used bombs and guns to kill and injure innocent students. One fact people miss is that Dylan and Eric played violent video game called "Doom". Doom is a science-fiction horror game where the player has to fight and kill demons from Hell. That by itself scares me. They often wrote down in journals the suicidal thoughts they had. The responsibility of the parents is to protect their children from violence in any type of source. I could see by when I woke up, today was not going to be my day. I'm tired of all this work. Now I have headaches everyday and I never have enough time in a day to do all that I need to do. I have a headache now, have the chills, I fall asleep everyday in math class, and it's just so much. I need to go to the infirmary but I don't have time today and its closed tomorrow. I need more of Jesus, truly! Not just now but all the time.

1965 Never Knew

I never realized how Nel was so similar to Sula. Both of them watched stuff happen that they could've stopped from the beginning. That compare amd contrast essay was something serious! I promise I did not get more than 75 minutes of sleep last night because I was working on my precious essay. Yes, I could've been had it done but I procrastinated yet again. I'm not doing anything but making it harder on myself. I really have to grow out of this laziness. I literally could not think last night though. 

I tried my hardest to just let it all out on the keyboard but it wouldn't come out. I stared at the screen for about an hour before I started "flowing". I need someone to explain to me why Nel told Shadrack that she was Sula at the end. I was a little confused about that. I wonder if Toni Morrison will ever let a producer create a Sula movie. I would most definitely go see it the first day it comes out. My literary skills were so much better in high school! I swear they were but this just means I have to work harder. 

1941 Sula Changes things

I honestly did not read the chapter last night but I did skim over it. I remember seeing something about Shadrack and his followers went to vandalize the construction site because they wouldn't hire blacks. At the end of the chapter, I saw it said the Dewey's bodies were never found which meant they died. It also said that Shadrack felt lonely for a moment. Sula impacted the town more than anyone thought. I am worried about this compare and contrast essay. I don't know what has happened to my vocabulary and grammar. I used to read ALL the time and my vocabulary was much more broader than it is now. Right now I am listening to Beyonce (Me, Myself, & I) and I just realized I could've used it on my glog to describe how Nel felt about the situation with Sula and Jude. I'm going to make sure I read the rest of Sula tonight. I know I shouldn't have went to that party last night but my friends were very persuasive. I was getting it! It was some really cute dudes there. All the sororities/fraternities were getting down. Being serious though, I've been so caught up in just trying to finish my work that I'm not even analyzing what I'm learning. I'm going to better though! I am determined to leave here with my six credits! 

I used Animoto my senior year at Knightdale High School. I thought it was pretty cool. I like it because you can create something for a friend then email it to them. As far as Popplet is concerned, it's nice. It reminds me of Prezi which is a power point presentation website.



Make a video of your own at Animoto.

1940 Sickness

LOVESICK

I know Sula is physically sick but she is also lovesick. Lovesick: In love, or missing the person one loves, so much that one is unable to act normally. Both Sula and Nel are lovesick. Nel is lovesick because she has lost her husband and is losing a friend slowly. Sula is lovesick because Ajax was the one she loved and cared for and he left her empty. The whole time Sula has been looking for love in all the wrong places. She said Jude filled in a space but what she doesn't know is that it was just temporary. The love Nel had for Sula was continuous. Sula took Nel and her love for granted. Nel is such a good friend. For all the drama and hurt she put her through, she still put went to her on her death bed to see her. She even went to get the girl prescription. Nel was a sweetheart and Sula had a bitter heart. Sula wanted to have her own world where she could be alone with no distractions. After Nel left she got what she wanted. Sula was alone in Eva's bedroom with the boarded up window. Sula turned away from the window because "it soothed her with sturdy termination". She finally had no distractions....

 

Sula and Ajax 07/10

1939 KARMA!

KARMA KARMA KARMA

What goes around comes right back around.

Sula, you done messed up now girl. Karma is coming for you at full speed! I'm actually glad that Nel didn't go off on Jude or Sula. Sula ended up getting played by Ajax when she caught feelings. Jude bought a ticket to Detroit and Sula is going in the opposite direction of him. I don't know what goes through Sula's mind. She is sleeping with white men. I would think that would be a death threat back then. If she was caught with a white man, what would happen to her? You would think Sula recognizes how people treat and she'd notice she needs to change. The saying "You can't turn a hoe into a housewife" was proven wrong when Sula started cleaning and cooking for Ajax.

Last night I made a terrible decision to stay up with my friends and talk about nonsense. Most of time when we talk, I learn so much about people I didn't know before. "So and so had someone in their room last night" and "So and so sneaked out to leave campus with what's his name". It is a shame of how much drama and incidents have happened. It's a couple of hoes in this program and I can just imagine how they are going to be in the fall. TRAGIC!

Nel, Jude and Sula

1937 Shame Shame Shame

THE OPPOSITE OF "IT WASN'T ME"

Why do people cheat? I just don't understand. I think I have to agree with Cam because you sure cannot change a hoe into a housewife. Sula is heartless and shameless. I am not even surprised that Sula enticed Jude to the point he had an affair. Women as a whole are very persuasive towards the race of men. Nel needs to retaliate in some type of way but I can understand the calmness. I read last night but only to a certain extent because I fell asleep. As soon as I woke up I opened the book to finish reading. I can read a chapter but as far as remembering events; that's the hard part. Sula is hateful man! What person is filled with that much hate in them since birth!? Some answers to the questions in our class discussion made me disgusted. Why would you want to join your best friend and spouse while they are having sex? I cannot stand backstabbers and liars. Especially LIARS! I wouldn't get so mad if I hadn't of been lied to so much. All people really want is the truth. If I was Nel, Jude and Sula wouldn't have left the house uninjured.

1927 Losing a friend; weddings

 

Losing a friend is never easy. I've lost many over the past 3 years. Especially after I kept moving from place to place and school to school. Some people thought I forgot about them when I really didn't. The phone works both ways so if they want to contact me, they have my number. The way Sula and Nel are is exactly how my friends and I in Wilson are. It's a group of us that have been together since sandbox. I miss them so much! We are all going to different colleges in different locations. We are separating to go into our own individual lives. Nel has jumped the broom! She is doing it up! I am mad she only married out of submission. When I get married, I am going to have agape love. I will not be marrying him because my mom likes him or because I'm desperate; I am going to love him in every aspect. My reception is going to be jumping! My mom isn't going to plan my wedding and stuff like Helene did Nel. The songs below are the songs I want playing during my ceremony or either during my reception. I am a big fan of Mary J. Blige, Anthony Hamilton, Jill Scott, and a lot of R&B artists.

 

 

1923 This is Crazy!

This chapter was CRAZY! Sula is something else! What child would watch their own mother die? I know I wouldn't. Even though her mom said she didn't like her, she loved her to death. Hannah should've taken the signs she had seen serious. She could've prevented her death and fooled fate. If Sula keeps doing the things she's doing, someone will recognize the pattern. Nel would be the one  who had been watching Sula doing all the evil things. Then Sula and Nel would fight it out until someone dies. I wonder what it means if I dream about a wedding dress. Would it still symbolize death? This is an old saying but I know if you dream about a fish then somebody pregnant. My grandma told me that when I was younger. I miss my grandmother so much! Its still hard to believe that she's gone. Sula is so heartless and nonchalant that blocks out real feelings and emotions. I wonder if Hannah understood her mom about the reason she killed Plum. It's crazy how you can raise a child in a structured household and the child could turn out becoming something totally different. Now that Hannah is dead, Sula has no choice but to look up to Eva. What a role model! Tell me why these people charged us four dollars just to have a plate of food from the cookout. Some people paid and didn't even get a plate of food! I didn't pay because my friend had hotdogs, fruit, and chips in her room. I'm not a moocher, they just generously share. It feels as if the better I try to be, the more I backslide. I try to do the right thing and treat people better than they treat me but I always get the worse side. Things have been having a snowball effect lately and I don't know how to cope.

1922 Going through the motions

I don't even know what going through the motions is but I just thought I'd include it in the title. I've heard people use it before and have always wanted to say it. Last night I stayed up writing my essay until 2 a.m.! I was suppose to set my alarm to wake me up but I totally forgot. I woke up at 7:24 a.m. Usually if I don't get the amount of sleep I need, I'll be okay for the rest of the day. I won't be cranky and irritable because I wake up happy because I'm alive. I don't know if I'm the only one that is like this but after I wake up, I have to use the bathroom. I also needed to take a shower. So I'm getting myself together to go to the bathroom and my suite-mate is in there. I'm like, "Are you serious?" This bathroom situation has happened to me so many times before that its not even funny anymore. I had to go to the library this morning to print my work, give my friend her USB port back, and was going to try to eat breakfast. That didn't really work. Anyways, I read Sula and it keeps getting better and better! Sula is something else. Nel and Sula are getting "fresh" as the older people would say. They are eager about boys and slightly think they are grown. It's crazy how at one point you can be chilling with someone and the next thing you know they are dead. I would have been traumatized if I were Sula. I would have so much guilt built inside of me that I would probably take myself in or have a nervous break down. When I read about the bargemen not making a big deal out of finding Chicken Little, I was shocked. Only because I forgot what time frame this book was taking place. Krista is a trip and a half. She is too funny with her little teeth self. I know that sentence is a grammatical error but excuse it please. Today I plan on tackling all my homework so I can do whatever I want tonight and tomorrow. My family reunion is this weekend and I am sad I won't be able to be there. I thank the Lord that I am very optimistic because I am going to make the best out of my fourth of July! I hope I get to see fireworks and we have some grilled food! They claim they are going to have a cookout but a cookout isn't a cookout without cookout music!

1921 Love Kills

Love can and will make you do some crazy things. It can be hard to deal with when someone you love doesn't love you back. Some people may think Eva made the right decision by killing her son out of love. I think she is crazy. If you love your children you should help them get better. I understand she didn't want him to go through so much misery but there were other ways to go about this particular situation. I was really sleepy today in class. If the class wasn't so long, I think I'd be able to stay awake better. Staying alert during a three hour class isn't easy. There is a person a have a slight crush on in class. He sits right beside me. Boys are the last thing I should be thinking about but I can't say that it is. His initials are M.C. Usually if I don't think I am a guys' type, I keep it as a low-key crush. It seems like everyone in our program has a boo. That is exactly the way I feel. I'm not here for the summer to find a boyfriend. I am here to get ahead of the game and do what I have to do to finish here in four years. Tre never fails to get on my nerves. I know I can talk a mouthful sometimes but he NEVER stops. The more I am around him, the more I'll get used to it I guess. This girls in my suite burnt some popcorn in her room and had the whole hallway smelling like burnt popcorn. My suite-mate told me she put some oodles and noodles in the microwave with no water. Common sense would tell you to add water. I have to constantly spray my room with Febreeze but I do that on a daily anyway.

1920

Most of the time I try to give people the benefit of doubt. Helene didn't even give Sula a chance at first. She thought that just because her mother was loose that Sula was a loose child. Sula put her to shame when she recognized she was a well behaved child. For homework I did not read this chapter but when I don't read I try to catch up on what I missed. I catch myself daydreaming and thinking often while you are teaching. Also for some reason I'm always so sleepy and I go to sleep at a reasonable time I think. I received a call from my mom's friend yesterday telling me about how their friendship might be over. My mom's friend called me during the BET Awards and I was a little upset by that. I missed most of the best part which was Kendrick Lamar and Erykah Badu's stage performance. The more he told me about the situation that took place, the more angry I became. I push my emotions to the side most of the time but soon enough they catch up to me. I really don't like crying but sometimes it's the only thing that will help me. My mindset gets thrown off kind of easy. One day I can say, "I'm going to read this chapter and do this assignment by this time." Next thing I know, I'm in my friends' room talking or in the lobby with everyone else. My goal right now is to stop being a insane procrastinator.

1919 Tony Morrison

Tony Morrison is a woman of very rare form. She is a real author that gives you the real deal. Tony talks about aspects other authors are afraid to talk about. Her details are very specific. Sula seems like an interesting book but I am not taking the time I should take to read it which is completely my fault. My senior year in high school was quite easy and laid back. I still have those traits now and it is showing in my work. I know I am slacking and I need to get myself together. When it comes to reading, it depends on what kind of book it is if I would want to read more. I liked Sula at first but I've lost interest. Shadrack is crazy! I was so lost when he said he was fumbling with his shoelaces and what not. I still don't understand the whole hand situation. I like to picture exactly what the book says so I'm curious of how Shadrack looked before he went to war. I am so sick and tired of Tre. I get tired of hearing his voice. He is so mouthy and loud. He is like a gnat constantly flying in my face!